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Crazy notions for advertising campaigns.

Madvertisements

For four years after college I wrote ad copy for radio.  I never really recovered from the trauma of that, so I still get these fairly random and slightly insane brainstorming ideas for advertising slogans and campaigns.  From now on I'm going to try and make note of the more interesting or amusing ones, and post them here.  If someone out there wants some off-the-wall freelance advertising consulting work done, contact me.

What follows in each instance is the germ of an advertising campaign.

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Turn on your aural memory.  Now, think of that little AOL voice saying "You've got mail!"  Got it?  OK, here's one for French's or Hellmann's or some other maker of fine condiments:  "You've got Mayo!"

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Here's a twisted little jingle idea.

OK, think shaved heads and funky robes, and that old familiar chant:

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna
Hare Hare
Got it? Now, substitute this:
Pepto Bismal, Pepto Bismal
Bismal Bismal
Pepto Pepto
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Built Ford tough.  So tough, in fact, that our wheels don't even fall off.

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"I've been Rehmed!"  Intelligent talk and news analysis.  The Diane Rehm show, daily on WAMU and NPR stations across the country.

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Here's a visual:  picture a nice suburban funeral home, beautiful lawn, trimmed shrubs, a tasteful brick-framed marquee out front to announce services for the deceased.  And on that marquee there are just two words:  "Smokers Wanted."

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You know that jingle for Clorox bleach?  The one that has the refrain:  "Momma's got the magic of . . . Clorox!"  OK, think the cosmetic surgery industry, and the recent popularity of botulism toxin injections to smooth wrinkles for a few months.  So, change the jingle to:  "Momma's got the magic of . . . Botox!"

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OK, here's more than just an advertising idea.  It's an entire marketing strategy in a nutshell.

Depends (TM) undergarments are designed for people who suffer from incontinence.  Primarily, this is the geriatric crowd - at present.  Depends should shift this focus to a much broader public.  Go for the youth crowd (picture a skateboard park, one 'cool' kid who doesn't want to interrupt his moves with a little thing like going to the can, another geeky kid who just about loses it with a stunt beyond his control but is saved by embarrassment by his Youth Depends).  The adventure crowd (rock climbers racing up a cliff wall - no break needed).  The NASCAR crowd (drivers wear 'em!).  The poker-player craze (nerves of steel while bluffing).  Tense negotiators (hostage situation?  Corporate take-over?)  And so on.  The best thing is, this would even expand their current target market, by helping to remove the stigma felt by the aging baby-boomers.

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Many people, when they need a mortgage, turn to Fannie Mae.  Then again, Fannie may not.  Ditech.com will.

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Camp Fire USA:  bring a little light into the life of a young person.

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jim@afineline.org
all work © James T. Downey, 1993-2006
photos © Martha K. John, 1994-2006
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